First published 27/09/2015
How amazing are the ‘co-incidences’ in my life right now! I was in the middle of reading an inane fantasy series when i was nudged to re-read The Celestine Prophecy. On my first reading, I was barely started on this spiritual path, and I found the book hard-going. This time, although I still find the one dimensional dialogue a tad annoying, and am only able to read it in small bits, I am more able to recognise the steps I have been through and the levels I am currently working on. On the very same day as someone on the First Wave Blue Ray Indigo Face Book page asked for advice regarding a client, I read the Sixth Insight – people’s dramas – and it was obvious that this was the problem our friend was up against. Her client was using a Poor Me drama. I found myself re-reading that bit and then turned to myself to work out my Drama. It was quite shocking to realise that I too had been using Poor Me. I’ve gone through some bad stuff and, as I thought, I was seeking support and sympathy. I don’t believe I am as bad as our friend’s client – I’m not looking for other people to fix my problems – but I was using this drama. As in the book, I looked back at my family to work out why this should be my and it became incredibly obvious when I thought about my parents lives. Now that I am aware, I can start to monitor myself and then shut down the Poor Me drama when it comes up.
We thought that the problems of the last few years that we have been experiencing were over. But on Friday another matter reared it’s ugly head and I just collapsed. I was just starting to recover from a breakdown and I fell over in a major way. I phoned my husband seeking support and love, but he too was up to his eyeballs and was scathingly abrupt with me, even hanging up the phone on me. I fell over big time. Crying, shaking, vomiting. I couldn’t eve control my body.
Several hours later I started to calm down and by time Mal came home I was, starting to come together. A hug would have resolved many things, but Mal was, with his own set of problems and worries, not prepared to even talk civilly with me.
Moving on, we got over our individual issues and the following day, apologised and made up. And then I got to thinking about what had happened from a Spiritual point of view. Something disastrous happened and I needed love and support……..and energy as described in the Celestine Prophecy, my motive for phoning Mal was to take his energy, but Mal wouldn’t supply it. Without that stolen energy, I wasn’t able to deal. Mal’s Drama is Aloof. So that’s what he played when he came home. With both of us having submissive dramas it’s not surprising that we came to a breaking point.
I have some wonderful friends, and we were meeting up that day, yesterday, to dance at a Festival. They knew something was wrong and asked me open-ended questions about what had happened. It was the ideal opportunity to start a Poor Me drama. But I have learned to recognise this, learned in a spectacular fashion. I think I talked things over with my sisters without the Poor Me. Yes, the initial trigger is awful and once again the Universe has dropped us into a hard position. But I do know that these difficulties that keep happening are because we have some very important lessons to learn.
It could be tricky, this Poor Me drama. I think I have been using it all my life without the slightest idea what I was doing. I know I’m not going to immediately be able to stop, but now that I can recognise it, I plan to do my damnedest to stop it and change track.
The trick, I can see, is being able to tell the story without the need to seek pity for the situation I find myself in. All I can do is my absolute best.
Since writing this, almost a year ago, I have come across a number of situations where someone is ‘energy feeding’. It’s very easy to spot once you have recognised it in yourself. And with that self recognition, I have found it fairly easy to stop! Like breaking a bad habit. Takes some determination and self-knowledge but is very achievable. As for people trying to steal your energy – Ignore them! Don’t let them feed from you, do not engage, keep your energy neutral. They will rant and scream….jeep ignoring and staying centered. It works every time.